So here I sit watching Brian on the ventilator. He is trached now. It is so hard to be patient in this wait for new lungs. The whole family and many friends fasted and prayed this weekend for him.

As I sit here I wonder how much Brian will remember when he is healthy again with new lungs. Sometimes he doesn't seem to be very aware of what is going on around him although we can get him to open his eyes and he will mouth I love you back to me when I tell it to him.

I often wonder whether we are taking steps forward or backward but Angie says that she has seen other transplant patients just the same before they get lungs. He just needs to keep all of his other organs working well.

I miss talking to him the most, actually I should say that I miss him talking back to me. I can talk to him all I want, but he can't talk back. After 26 years that is pretty hard to take. I love him so much and just want him to be well.

I will post pictures when I have more time. Although he would hate that idea.